A Quarantined Birthday

I turned 40 years old.


That’s an insane number.

There’s no more 30 is the new 20. There is just 40 then 50. I guess suicide is an option but I’m much too young for that.

Being 40 throws the memories into high gear because it’s hard to remember. I don’t know what I’ve done for most of my birthdays at this point outside meeting friends at a bar. I have a few random little thoughts of my childhood parties like when my Grandma Briggs gave me a vhs of Disney cartoons that I still love to this day. Even my 21st is a blurring. I only recall one specific buddy being at the party and that I got Mike’s Hard Lemonade for my first legal drink as a goof. Some memories will never leave me like when an old girlfriend wore a lederhosen all day and beyond for me. I couldn’t tell what year I turned with that one.

The birthday memories that I hold the closest is the previous year’s festivities for obvious reasons and when I went to Chuck E. Cheese for my 8th birthday; within the last few years I found a VHS tape of this day which is just fantastic to watch.

My most memorable birthday to this day is when I turned 16. The night before my best childhood buddy slept over and we ordered 100 wings from BW3. Now, we were fat kids but even for us this was insane. We had a goal in mind but my memories are that I quit way early into my 50 and Shawn went past his. I still to this day get wings, preferably BW3 out of nostalgia, on my birthday. This was a big one though, a true right of passage, the one where I got my license. We studied all night while listening to Bush and watching Empire Records. I have flashes of us in my basement looking through that small white with yellow caution dashes of the road on the cover booklet. The only memory of that actual birth date is being in Parma, Ohio to do the test and walking by the desks and seeing older people there.

Before I forget what I did this year let me ramble… before this corona nonsense Bill & Ted Face the Music was to be released on 8/21/20, my 40th. It was going to be perfect. One of my absolute favorite movies coming out with a third chapter on that most heinous day of 40. But then they changed it, a bunch of times actually, it was weird. So I will patiently wait until I am 40 and a week years old to watch it in my home. So instead of seeing it at midnight I headed out to the drive-in to watch Evil Dead and Zombi. On the other screen they were playing Space Balls and during their previews Bill & Ted came on. I instantly hopped back into my car and flip the dial to hear it. I stood there so happy to be getting even a small resemblance of my original plans. It was most triumph.

When I woke up in the morning I laid in bed playing on my phone and being lazy like I should when my wife and daughter came in at 10am to say happy birthday and give me a present. It was the Lego Nintendo and TV set. And that’s what I did for birthday. All my plans changed at that moment and I built that Lego. I grabbed my computer chair, my Nickelodeon Doug TV tray and turned on Excellent Adventure. I proceeded to watch Bogus Journey, the Back to the Future trilogy and one and a half Hot Tub Time Machines before I was done around 2am.

Like all my birthdays I plan to change something about myself; stop eating fast food, exercise, no smoking…typical bullshit like that and this year is no different. Some things will be easier though like I’m already a non smoker. I don’t consider myself a smoker but if we were hanging out having a drink I could ask you for one. Now with the number 40 on my head I figure I’ll tell myself no more cheating. I haven’t had a cigarette since I turned 40 type of mentality.
I do need to quit drinking soda pop. I love it so much, it’s one of my favorite things but I think I need to cut it out besides a special occasion because I find I don’t drink enough water if I have it around. I’ll still buy my fancy 4 packs from B.A. Sweetie but I’m not into a Pepsi at the gas station anymore… finding a Cherokee Red in the wild is a different story.

My big change though, the one I need to push forward with is to do yoga. Yep, not so much exercise like my past failures but yoga. On Memorial Day weekend of 2019 I was cleaning out our side room and my wife was gardening, she asked me to lift the wheelbarrow and as I did it got stuck under a board and I had no give, well, I threw my back out and it hasn’t been the same ever since. The back pain was the literal worst thing I have ever felt. I collapsed to the ground unable to move for sometime. I honestly wish it upon no one. I’ve built it back and I’m pretty much normal but I still feel it time to time and I certainly have a PTSD from it as I’m fearful even a year and a half later at the start of certain activities so I’m ready to build it even better than it was before and stop being scared it’s going to go out again.

Another little one that will help with my back stuff is I sleep on the couch. Every night. I just like falling asleep with headphones blaring or the TV on and that doesn’t work well with my wife. It’s no problem because I love a couch. Each summer in my youth I would turn the basement into my room and have a couch as a bed. So I am no stranger to this type of sleeping but now with age and back junk I need to use the memory foam bed.
Lastly I’m going to write on here. This is one of my big lies I tell myself during birthdays; I’ll write more. I never do and always want to. So we’ll see.

And that was my big 40th birthday post. I hope none of you read it and all of you clicked the donated button.

What are your thoughts?

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